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Three years ago we published an account of the first communion of Mark's older brother Paul (see Interchurch Families, vol. 3, no. 1, January 1995). On that occasion, the bishop had refused Paul's mother communion, because it would set a precedent which would be hard to control. He had however intimated that the parish priest could very discreetly celebrate a house-mass and give Paul's mother communion, which he did the next day, while grandparents were still with the family. Two years later, with a different parish priest, the family tried again, and Paul's and Mark's parents tell their story below. Mark's mother's special joy at being able, this time, to receive communion openly, with the parish, is evident. "It felt normal and natural. "
Joy Compounded
Mark is eight years old and was ready to make his first communion. Two years previously, his elder brother Paul had received his first communion and, after discussion with the family's Anglican vicar and bishop, he had been allowed to receive in the Anglican parish also. However, all had not been plain sailing. Despite repeated requests and letters, Paul's Anglican mother had not been able to receive at his first communion mass.
As the time drew near for Mark's first communion (for which the whole family helped to prepare him), we approached the Catholic parish priest. He had intimated in the past that sharing communion was not a possibility, as he understood the rules. However, we asked him to ask the bishop once again for permission for Mark's mother to receive communion with the family on such a special day. We were not at all hopeful, not only from our experience last time, but because of a disappointing meeting with the bishop himself in the intervening years. We felt, however, that even though a further rejection would be painful, we had nothing to lose.
Two weeks before the big day, the parish priest called Mark's mother into his office (she was preparing for the children's liturgy which she would be leading the following day). She told him that she knew it would be "bad news". He sat her down and told her that, after much contemplation and prayer, he had decided not to ask the bishop (knowing his likely response), and that he now felt ready to offer her communion. He also felt that if she received once, there was no reason why she should not receive regularly after that. His only condition was that she receive communion in the Sunday parish mass, and not in the more traditional mass also celebrated on a Sunday. She left his office with tears running down her face, never having dreamt of being able to receive communion within the parish. Our joy was compounded by the delight of Mark and Paul, when they were told. We had underestimated their pain at being divided at communion.
The first communion mass was a joyous and happy occasion. The families of the first communicants stood around the altar and received communion together. It felt normal and natural. Parishioners, other family members, and Anglican parishioner friends who had joined us for the service were able to share in our real joy.
Paul's and Mark's mother has received communion since - but not every time we attend our Catholic parish. She has a blessing some Sundays, partly out of respect for friends who are married to divorcees and do not receive communion, partly as a sign of the disunity which still exists, and partly in recognition of the privilege we have been offered in the circumstances. But it gives the whole family real happiness to be together in communion. As another AIF member once promised us, "Love will win in the end!"
6.1.2
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Published by the Association of Interchurch Families, London
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