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Steve and I (Marian) both had Anglican backgrounds but we met in a charismatic evangelical church. Within this context we married and had our three boys who were all blessed during individual dedication services. We both agreed that baptism would be when they asked for it. We had put no age on this, but wanted to be flexible as their individual spiritual journeys unfolded.
Enjoying diversity: a sense of humour helped
Then, three years ago, Steve felt called to the Roman Catholic Church. Huge
adjustments had to be made in family life and expectations. We decided to face
the challenges together as a family. This involved continuing our membership
of Community Church, as well as entering into the life of the Catholic parish
all together. The boys enjoyed the diversity of the two church communities and
their perspective on our new situation and sense of humour was a big help in
finding our way through. We were now an interchurch family. After the initial
shock, we were well supported by the leaders from Community Church and our Catholic
parish priest. We were relieved to have discovered the Association of Interchurch
Families and to have its support as we moved towards the next challenge –
the baptism of our boys.
In summer 2002 our two older boys, Daniel (8) and Matthew (7), both independently made personal decisions that they wanted to be baptised and to make their first communion. This is considerably younger than is usual in Community Church, so we expected problems. Daniel said to me one morning after Mass: ‘Mummy, why didn’t you just have me done when I was a baby? It would have saved a lot of trouble!’
Baptism in the context of our domestic church
We prayed and heart searched. We were moving house, and Steve came up with the
idea of having the baptisms in our new home, in the context of our domestic
church. Perhaps in the bath? Home being the place where we are united in our
Christianity! The boys jumped at this idea.
We invited the Catholic parish priest first. He came for tea, and we put the idea to him. He admitted that he wasn’t quite sure what we were going to say to him, but he certainly hadn’t expected a baptism at home with the pastor of Community Church! However, he thought it was a wonderful idea and an excellent way forward for us and agreed to it instantly. We suggested that he performed the baptism and asked for lots of water – not just a sprinkling – the boys are expecting immersion. He put their names down for the First Communion course and we stressed that this was also preparation for baptism.
A baptism recognised for life
Then we approached the pastor from Community Church. Steve took him out for
lunch and I communicated with him about the baptism by email and telephone.
He checked out the idea with the other leaders, and they responded with approval
so long as it was what the boys wanted, and so long as we agreed about it as
a couple. Their main concern was that the boys would be able to make a profession
of faith, and that their baptism would be recognised for life in every corner
of the Christian world (even in staunch Protestant circles!).
The pastor came to tea. Fortunately he has had a lot of involvement with Protestants and Catholics coming together in France. He talked to the boys, and they explained what they wanted without any prompting from their parents. He agreed as well. We asked him to host the service and do most of the talking. He was happy with this, but we had to stress that had he been doing the water part, the Catholic Church would still find it acceptable. He needed this reassurance.
Big-heartedness all round helped us find a way through
Our friends are overwhelmed by the big-heartedness of both sides and in awe
of how we have been able to find a way through. We always attribute it to the
help we have received from the Association of Interchurch Families. We decided
that for practical reasons the bathroom would be too small, so we arranged to
borrow the baptism pool from Community Church and have the ceremony in our new
garden. This would enable us to invite more friends, from both church communities
and from AIF, as well as our families.
Alongside the First Communion preparation, we have arranged for the boys to see one of the children’s workers from Community Church a couple of times to help them to be able to make a simple profession of faith. They are really enjoying the input and Steve and I are hoping that it will all go well.
Vol 11, No 2, 2003: P 7
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