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When our son was baptised in 1997 we had a Catholic baptism on Saturday in the chapel at the Catholic university where we married. Next day we had a ceremony during Sunday worship at my wife's Presbyterian church. The minister did not re-baptise our son but we professed our faith and the elder asked the congregation to promise to help raise him as a Christian.
A few years later when our daughter was on the way we got the AIF baptism pack and tried to create something more ecumenical. What started out as frustrating became very rewarding.
We presented a copy of the pack to the new Catholic pastor where we live and asked him to call us and let us know his thoughts. We told him what we had done with our son and wondered if we could do something more equitable this time.
He never got back to us. Each Sunday I would ask him and he said, ‘I will read it; just give me time.’ A month passed, then two. Our daughter was born. The Sunday after her birth he asked if the baby was here yet. I said yes. He did not say anything else so I asked about her baptism. He said that my wife's pastor could do a reading. Getting an answer from him was like pulling teeth. I would have preferred that the day after he received the pack he called and told me I was a very bad Catholic to present him with such a packet of nonsense. At least he would have taken the time to read and consider it. His total indifference to my needs left me looking elsewhere.
I had eventually called another Catholic pastor before my daughter's birth. This priest was the pastor at the university where we married and baptised our son. He was most helpful, and agreed to anoint our daughter with the Rite of Bringing a Baptised Child to the Church after her baptism at my wife's Presbyterian church. He invited my wife’s pastor to take part and said he would certainly register our daughter's baptism.
Then I read a Canon Law Q & A at the Eternal Word Television Network. I became very uncomfortable with doing the baptism this way. Canon 1366 threatens a Catholic who hands over his child to be baptised in a non-Catholic religion with a censure. I felt I would never have agreed to this option if I had known that. Following the canon lawyers at EWTN I told my wife we could not do it. She told me, tough, we were going to do it. She said how can she compete when I can always say my religion does not allow me to do something?
I contacted AIF and learned that the 1993 Ecumenical Directory (151) says that canon 1366 does not apply to Catholics in interchurch marriages who despite their best efforts do not baptise or raise the children Catholic. However, I wish the AIF baptism pack would have included the information about canon 1366. [151 also says the Catholic should respect the conscience of the other parent and have regard for the unity and permanence of the marriage and the maintenance of the communion of the family. Ed.]
Interestingly, a month later, the EWTN Canon Law experts backed off the reality of the censure in the case of interchurch couples. They said the censure shows how serious it is that a Catholic baptise his children Catholic but that the writings on ‘mixed marriages’ indicate that a Catholic would not come under the censure and that the preservation of the marriage is important.
The Presbyterian pastor was most helpful and invited the university pastor to take part in the baptism. I informed him that our bishop forbids such participation by his priests but that he himself would be welcome to do a reading and blessing at the anointing. He agreed and volunteered that he would be comfortable performing an assisting role at future baptisms. He did not see the need to register the baptism in both churches, but said that was fine with him if we wanted it.
We planned the baptism for the Sunday during the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity for its symbolism. We had the baptism at 11 am and the anointing at 12:30 pm immediately following.
We discovered that the Presbyterian Church (USA) has a Book of Common Worship with a baptismal service very similar to the Catholic Rite of Baptism. We used some of the questions from the Book of Common Worship in the anointing where it said these ‘or other suitable words’. We plan to have just one service for future children with both priest and minister taking part.
I wish the Catholic Church were more up front about the opportunities available to interchurch couples. The 1993 Ecumenical Directory 97 and 98 should be used often and not treated as pesky footnotes that if the couple pushes enough they can have. Baptism is the one sacrament mutually recognised between churches. There must be a way to celebrate a common entry into the Body of Christ. The Catechism of the Catholic Church (1256) states that, ‘In case of necessity, any person, even someone not baptised, can baptise, if he has the required intention.’
Since the Catholic Church now allows dispensations for a Protestant minister to perform a wedding recognised as valid and sacramental, can there not be a way to celebrate the baptism of a child of interchurch parents with such ecumenism? If an atheist can baptise out of necessity, why not a Protestant minister? Our needs are real. The Catholic Church may not be able to offer exactly what interchurch couples want but I believe there is a way to celebrate baptism in a more ecumenical manner. I wish our Catholic bishops would offer a set of baptismal ceremonies that involve the participation of both the priest and minister.
K.James Cassidy
9.2.11
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