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Saturday, 3 April 1999, was a day that Richard and I had never thought would be possible. Long years of waiting for a child, the loss of our first through miscarriage, and a difficult pregnancy all meant that we dared not hope too much. But on 3 April our dreams finally came true and our baby, Ruth Helen Connell, was baptised.
What did we want?
Last summer we purchased the AIF Baptism Pack to start preparing for the
baptism of our child. In 1982 I had taken part in a national conference on the
Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults, and some of my thinking was influenced
by that, so I was quite prepared to wait until the baby was older before having
him or her baptised. Richard, on the other hand, was determined that the baby
should be baptised as soon as possible after birth. I challenged him to convince
me this was the best idea.
Richard argued that, as well as conferring the benefits of the sacrament, baptism is an important witness to other people of the significance we accord to our faith. For us it is more than "getting them done". I admitted that while I feel that adult baptism is the norm, I accept that the early church did also baptise the babies and children of Christian parents.
Having established that we were both in favour of baptism at an early date, we then moved on to the logistics. In line with my thinking, I suggested that the appropriate time would be the Easter Vigil, and since we always go to the Vigil in the Catholic church, it seemed logical to hold the baptism there. I then put it to Richard that I would like the baby to be welcomed into the Anglican church too (I am the Roman Catholic) and that it would be wonderful to have the baptism registered in both churches.
Baptised at the Easter Vigil
I asked my parish priest if he would be prepared to do the baptism at the
Easter Vigil with the participation of the Anglican minister. He was surprised
and admitted that he had never before baptised a baby at the Vigil, but could
see no reason why not. He also asked: "Won’t the vicar have his own service
to do?" When I checked it out, the vicar responded, "No problem: that’s
what curates are for!"
At the end of December our baby was born and plans for her baptism began in earnest. My mother was asked to prepare the baptismal gown that she had originally made for me almost 43 years ago. For godparents we chose a friend of ours from the Catholic church, an eighteen year-old whom we have known since she was a little girl, and an interchurch couple who attend both our churches. My parish priest agreed to put all three names on the baptismal certificate, which is a source of great joy to us. Richard’s vicar started to prepare a service of welcome for Easter Sunday morning.
The congregation of our Catholic Church, with our two families, a few friends, and Richard’s Anglican vicar gathered on Holy Saturday at 8 p.m. The fire was lighted, and the clergy processed out. My parish priest welcomed everyone, including the vicar. After the readings and prayers, we processed into church.
With everyone’s candle lighted, the Liturgy of the Word began. Richard read the first reading, from Genesis. In the litany of the saints, both St Ruth and St Helen were invoked for their prayers. When we came to the affirmation of our baptismal faith, the parish priest asked the questions, our baptismal party responded first, then an adult candidate, and finally everyone else.
When he blessed the water, the parish priest invited Richard’s vicar to place the Easter candle into it. Ruth was baptised by the parish priest, and the vicar presented her with the white garment and the baptismal candle.
Sharing communion
At communion, the parish priest announced that Richard had asked the Bishop
if he might on this special occasion receive communion, and that the Bishop
had been delighted to give permission. It was a most wonderful moment when Richard
and I received communion together, the first time ever in that church.
After the service, Richard’s vicar thanked me for asking him. "I’m so glad I was here. It was lovely to take part in a service in your church, as you always worship with us."
Welcomed on Easter Day
On Easter Sunday morning Ruth, Richard and I and Ruth’s godparents, our
families and friends met again at St Peter’s. I read the first reading, with
some competition from Ruth. After everyone had renewed their baptismal vows,
we were invited to come forward along with another family who were having their
baby dedicated. The vicar said prayers of thanksgiving for the safe arrival
of Ruth, and for my return to health. He re-lit Ruth’s baptismal candle from
the Easter candle and presented it to Richard with the words, "Receive
this light again on Ruth’s behalf." This little piece of symbolism showed
that both communities were prepared to help us in raising Ruth in the Christian
faith. Then he prayed for a blessing for Ruth.
Richard’s vicar had put together the service of welcome, and we both thought it looked very good. On Easter Sunday morning, as we were setting off to church, I said to Richard, "Bring the candle." When we walked up to the nave altar with the candle, the vicar leaned forward and asked, "What do you want me to do with the candle?" Richard and I smiled and said, "Well, you might light it from your Easter candle." Afterwards he told us it was such a good idea that he wished he’d thought of it himself!
Helen Connell
Published by the Association of Interchurch Families, England
Return to Journal index
Vol 8.1.4
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